I feel like venting

I think it helps to just vent and type out everything. I'm not mad or anything. The word vent makes it sound like its angry or mad. Im so much happier here this year but theres still SO many people here that I really don't care for. Am I being a biznatch? I think just some of the people I am in classes with are SO FAKE and they only talk to you when they want something from you. Lame. I am so greatful for Nicole, Eric, Marci, Jessica and Erica. I feel like they are my only like true friends that wouldn't talk crap about me and would always be there for me. There was a party last night and I kept debating whether or not I should go. I wasn't gonna drink or anything so it would be boring and I don't know but I don't feel like being with all those fake people. Yeah I can be fake to but not to the extreme that some people go to. Theres another party tonight. But I doubt I will go. Id rather hang out with a few close friends then a big party where people are acting like idiots.

Sometimes I think it would be better to transfer to SDSU. I dont know. I am comfortable here now but I am sick of people being suck ups and kissing ass bc they think it will cause them to get "in". Im honestly so over the competitive part of this program. The teachers always say all you can do it worry about yourself get the competitive attitude out of here but people are always comparing themselves to other people. I try not to and I try to just focus on myself but its the nature of the program here.

I like being by myself. Like no ones in my dorm and I'm just relaxing. And it feels good. Sometimes I think I'm not social enough. But when I am around people I am comfortable with then I am totally outgoing and stuff. Im not shy but I wont strike up a meaningful conversation with you if I'm not comfortable with you. Otherwise its just small talk and I hate small talk.

I had work today. It went faster than usual but still was WAY boring. I really want a new job. Im in such a blah mood right now.

Till next time.